Your Eyes Are The Size Of The Moon.

I am honestly sick of everything right now. I cannot stand myself. I mean, really, what do I have to offer in life right now? I'm a failure at school. I mean, I am getting a fucking 59% in AAT. I'm getting a C in english, unless it dropped to a D. That makes me sad, because math and english were my best subjects. I am getting B's in chemistry and spanish. I have a B in gym. The only A I have is in art. This is horrible. I have an F in history, I believe. I have realized this year, I am not smart. I have no talent. I cannot play sports. I just humiliate myself. I have no looks to substitute for my failure in school. I mean, I can't even get a date to homecoming. No guy would look twice at me. They would glance then be repulsed and walk away. I am awkward and a bitch. I do not even know why I have any friends. One thing about homecoming that gets me down, is the fact that I really wanted to go with Eddy. No sophomore year no junior year. And, this would be my last chance. He is not going to be here next year. But obviously he cannot see my pain. He is oblivious to nearly everything. This boy, I now noticed, sees only what he wants to see. He is hateful and selfish. He is immature and non-understanding. I wish things could be like they were last year, and freshman year. We were amazing. We clicked. We were perfect. I do not know what happened. But, there is no going back. So no use in regrets.

I hate the world, though. And I always will. Sickening.