I Don't Wanna Be Like This, I've Got Nothin' It's True But This Song Now..

I really wish I knew what was bothering me so much. I just feel so FUCKED UP again, and I can't figure out why exactly. I think it's a compilation of a lot of things. The drinking, pot, and excessive smoking I'm sure aren't helping. I think Bernice gave up trying to care two alcohol bottles and a few packs of cigarettes ago. Yet, she still stops to say "I love you, good night" every evening. Like FUCK, it's KILLING me that I can't figure out what the FUCK is wrong with me. Right now I feel like I want to explode, I need to fucking get away but can never seem to escape anything. I've even run out of fucking words. I used to be able to write. I used to be able to think clearly. Now I can't think at all. I give up.