If I Was Given Every Chance To Change, I'd Make It A Point To Smile Every Day.

My entries have been far and few between, I've noticed. I guess I only really write when I'm angry or sad. This is my outlet for extreme emotions I guess. But, lately, I've been pretty happy. Things are smooth. I really have nothing to complain about (: Whoa, did I just say that? I'm glad to have things in order for once.

I've been thinking about dialing up, or rather texting, David lately. A part of me wonders how he is doing, but the better part of me -- the smarter part -- is telling me to leave it alone; let him live his life and let me live mine. He may have made me, but I guess I am not meant to be a part of his life. I have also considered showing up at Danny's auto and seeing if he is there. Which reminds me.. I need to visit grandpa Rich before he keels. That really is such a vulgar way of putting it, but it is true. And I feel obligated. I still feel guilty, and kind of like an asshole. Last I saw him, he cried tears of joy just from seeing my face and I promised him I would visit.

Damn I need some wheels.

I Feel So...

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

The Spark Inside Your Eyes Was Just The Match I Used To Set Myself On Fire

So, I guess you could say that Septemeber is off to a good start. As of 08/31/09, I am no longer a single gal (: Luke finally asked me out. He was very casual about it, and unfortunately had to leave right after he finished asking me out, but still. We were just leaning on his car and he said something along the lines of: "So.. I have a question. And you can say no.. but," he kind of paused, "will you be my girlfriend?" I think I answered with a kiss then a yes.. maybe the other way around. He told me "Yeah, I feel like I should have done that sooner.. sorry." It is funny, because Just the night before that, I was going to give up hope. I hate let downs. Hopefully this is something worth my while, something promising. Other than mentioning that, I do not really have a whole lot to write about tonight, so I guess I will just retire for now.