Please Don't Think I Plan To Lose To The Night...

I feel so incredibly afraid.. and as many times as I have said this, I mean it now more than ever: I feel more alone than I have ever felt in my life. I cried for the first time in a while today in school, then sobbed my eyes out when I got home. I noticed something today, and if it's what I think it is, my entire life will be ruined; this is not teenage drama, with me just over-exaggerating things: this is fucking real. If I am right, I will really be more alone than I ever have before. George will hate me, my friends will shun me, and I won't have a friend or lover in the world; this is assured. Anxiety is going to eat away at me until I find out the truth about this. I need to see someone. Right now though, I cannot talk about it to anyone; I have such an intense fear of being judged. This will change any opinion of me. If it is true, I have even seriously contemplated suicide. It makes me sad that my life may come to an end so soon, and at such a young age. This is really a difficult time in my life, and now when I need someone the most, no one is there I can talk to. Is this really the end?

I am so stupid for thinking this could never happen; I need to find out, and soon. I refuse to live in fear this way. Please, give me guidance.