If I Had One More Chance, I Would Have Done It Right...

How am i going to keep this secret. It's all my head keeps chanting. I have to write in here, otherwise I will explode. Today was unbearable. Utterly unbearable. He came over, and we got close. In bed, I was trying not to cry because my betrayal was written across his face. He was telling me how much he loved me. This is just all eating away at me, just as I knew it would.

Tim messaged me. It's weird how he always does that. I was looking at his facebook, and he IMed me randomly. Apparently he was looking at mine, as well. He wants to visit next week. I was hesitant about it, but then I thought "all right, this is fine. We can chill for a while." Then he tells me he wants to have sex. He has a girlfriend. I have a boyfriend. I keep questioning him about how heartless one can really get. He says he has never cheated before, but I'm "special."

I know if he comes, I will be weak. Again.

Only this time, it will get worse.

Only this time...