I Know That I Can't Take Back All The Mistakes.

And for once, I have a regret. This is one thing that i will never tell anyone. I feel so guilty. I feel like it's written on my head. I don't know how i'm going to keep this secret. I'm sure when I see his face, it will kill me. I don't know what to do, or how this is going to play out. This is going to eat away at me. I keep pretending this is all a dream, that it never happened.. God. What I was so deathly afraid of what he would do, I did. I never thought i could possibly do it, let it happen. Never ever crossed my mind. I really don't know who I am anymore. I have a horrible, horrible feeling.. I have to keep this inside me. But, love is a powerful force. I don't know. I just don't know. I can't see his face. I burst it out last time after one day, and we weren't even together. I can't tell any of my friends. Once I have told someone, things will get worse. I feel like scum. I can't even type the words. I can't decipher if it really was what it was. Yet, at the same time, i do know.

I can't live with myself like this. If there is a God, please, save my soul.