Share With Me Those Secrets That You've Kept In, Because It's Cold Inside..

Eh. I have too many mood swings. I over think everything / think too much.

Last night was all right. After school I showered & such and then Tommy took me to Nicole's house. We ended up going to Ian's house. there were a lot of people there, but i was all good. Long story short, we chilled, smoked, and left. Well, Nikki didn't smoke up. But I did. Moving on, We went home and Tommy came and chilled. Hence, a fun evening.

Today was a good day for the most part. I slept over at Nicole's. At around 230 we went over to the trailer park to meet up with Cody and Dillon. So we chilled in the cold for a while. Then we walked back to Nicole's house. On the way I was attacked. Cody a

nd Dillon had their arms behind me and Nikki, and they were running, and I ended up falling down lmao. Anyways, we got back to her place and Tommy came. We ended up watching Clerks 2. Basically, the movie consisted of Dillon and I holding hands, which was nice. He also stroked my arm and leg for a while, laying on me. But it was nice.

I feel weird. I like Dillon a lot. He's only 14 haha. But, age is only a number. He's so adorable lmao. It's cool that he likes me. But, it's bums me out. He lives in Mt. Prospect. I live in Berkeley. Hence, nothing's going to come out of it. Depressing. I wish I lived out there. I love all the people. I love Nicole and Tommy. Her friends are amazing. People a

ctually like me out there. Over here, no one likes me. Bums me out as well. Whatever. Nothing good comes out of anything for me.

Speaking of which, blah, i'm fucking things up with Eddy. Which, once again, makes me a little sad. I feel bad that I left without saying a word to him. And that he had no one to go to the concert with. He was so excited, so happy. He had his ticket and everything. A $50 ticket, and for nothing. I still feel bad about it. He's rarely happy like that. So today he called me and wanted to see me, because he missed me. But I stayed in Mt. Prospect all day. He called me once, but I was with everyone and Dillon was yelling in my ear, so he hung up. 

Now he won't talk to me.

Moving on, yet another topic of depression. Eddy is going to war, as I have stated, by the end of the year. This is the last year I have with him, and then he's gone. I've been fucking this up, over something that is going to get me nowhere. I'm so repetetive with my worries and thoughts. Again & also, Tommy is leaving as well. I can't remember if I wrote about this in one of my previous update or not. But whatever. He was talking about it, and it just makes me so sad. He feels like one of my best friends, someone who I've known for a long time. I don't understand it, but it isn't a bad thing at all. He's so much fun. 

It's weird, because Nicole was upset due to what her mother brought up. Her mom was telling her that Tommy and I liked eachother, because we were like best friends now, and I talk to him way more than she does. Idk, I feel bad for her. She deserves treu happiness without worries.