I Can't Eat Anything Without Shoving My Hand Down My Throat.

I have nothing to write about anymore. I'm so listless. My father just called while I was in the shower. I'm not going to call him back. 

So I hate failing at everything. I'm doing horrible in school, beyond belief. I disgust myself to a horrible extent. It's at the point where I throw up everything I eat. I just want to look good. 

I'm getting a promotion at work, but I don't know how to feel about that. I don't care about anything right now.

We set up the new computer. The lady lied; her grandson didn not wipe the computer clean at all. It's cluttered and old. I liked the shitty one we had better.. Whatever.

So when I graduate, I have decided. I am not going to college. I am going to move to another state, telling no one where I have gone. I need to get away. I will think about him every single day of my life. So, he's leaving me. I'll leave him. When he comes back, I won't be here. I won't be waiting for him. I will be gone. 

Do you know what it's like to feel ugly all the time?