I Swear That You Don't Have To Go.
Let me re-cap this past weekend.
Friday.
This was one of the worst days in a while. There have been some real bad ones in the past few months, and this one was up there with them. It started out all right. After school, I cleaned for a while. Then I went to Edward's house for his birthday. We stayed outside for like, an hour. It was fucking freezing. The guys skated for a while, then Eddy called me and started yelling. After that, I threw a leaf at John. He responded by grabbing my hands, and pushing me backwards. I was running at top speed, and was begging him to stop. I ended up falling on my head, followed by my body, and flipping John over me. It was sufficiently painful. So, shortly after, Eddy showed up. He grabbed me up from the ground and was being an ass as usual. Then he calls me over. He says "I have great news! Well, it's great for me... not you."
ROTC. He's going to college for four years and majoring in whatever he wants, all for free. Then he is going to Iraq for four years. I held it in for a while. I tried telling him I was happy for him, because that is what he has wanted. Finally I could not take is anymore. I said I had to go for a jog to warm up. I went to the park, and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, until I got to the point where I could no longer breathe. This went on for an hour, at least. Eddy came after a while, and sympathized with me. He held me, and took me to the football game with him. He used the excuse "more time you have to spend with me." There were marines on the field at the game. Later, we went back to Edward's house. We ate, and played twister. When I got home, I cried.
Saturday.
The day was boring. I spent it cleaning again. Then I took a nap at around three. It only lasted about a half hour, because I needed to shower. After I got out, Luis called and said that he and John where on their way. I put on some loose clothes and waited. They arrived in suits, which must have looked funny while they walked to my house. After a while, I changed into my dress and did my makeup. Shortly after, Danielle and Amanda got here. Manda did my hair for me. She curled it, and it looked nice. So, apparently Shitty was texting her, and she wanted to go see him. Danielle took everyone and left, because Eddy found out he not only had to bring Yanilla, but he also had to bring Brigitte and her friend. This left room for only myself, not Luis and John. Hence, I was forced to sit alone while I waited for my ride. Luckily, he wasn't long. Since he was in a hurry, my dumbass didn't bring a coat. So, I ended up freezing most of the night. The dance was okay I guess. Not my scene and Eddy seemed to not enjoy himself, thoroughly. Everyone was kinda of bored, and Luis was just bombarded with everyone screaming "LUIS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE MISSED YOU! WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?" He also had an epiphany while there: he like Gabby. She is the only girl that he has liked and does not want to fuck. This kind of bummed me. I guess I kind of have a crush on him a little bit? I'm not sure. Gabby is not even pretty.. at all. But whatever sinks his ship, I guess. I shouldn't be talking. she is better looking than I am. Moving on, we went to Flat Top afterwards. Long story short, the total bill for ten people was almost $200. We all flipped shit. There was an included $30 dollar tip. But, whatever. We all departed. Danielle, Amanda, and Nico went back to his house. Eddy, Luis, John and I stopped at Jewel so I could get my schedule. I was upset. My hours this week: Monday 5-9 / Tuesday 6-10 / Saturday 10-6 / Sunday 530-11. I have never worked an eight hour shift before, so I'm a little nervous and aprehensive about what to do, seeing as I am going to have a half hour break as well as my 15minute one. We have to punch out for that, so I am a bit confused. I do not know why I am so nervous. Anyways, getting back to Saturday.. We all met up at Nico's house. To my dismay, both Danielle and Amanda were gone. Danielle went to chill with Alex, and Amanda (not surprisingly) went to Shitty's house. We were all pissed at her. She was gone until 1am, which was bullshit of her to do since she came to be with Nico and us, not use him to get to that fucker. She is a dumbass. He broke up with her in a douchebag way, not even nice about it. So, they were making out on Nico's porch, which pissed us all off. When she came in, we all ignored her. Nico was being an asshole to her to the max. So, she went in the bathroom for a long time. When she came out, I went in to use it. She knocked, and I let her in. I was going to be nice to her; I felt bad. Then she says "Is there a bandaid in here?" I was like why? That bitch cut herself. At Nico's. I called her a fucking moron, and walked away. I didn't talked to her for the rest of the night. I ended up sleeping on the air mattress by myself. Amanda slept on the loveseat, Nico on the couch, and Eddy in the chair. I was freezing. when I woke up in the morning, I felt horrible. Amanda was gone. But, I felt bad because I slept in Eddy's hoody, and he slept in a t-shirt all night long. And it was cold as hell. We were all up all nightm watching some asian movie and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The Japanese one was creepy as hell, and the other one was hilarious. I woke up at around five and shut off the volume. The next day, Eddy took me home and ended up staying a while. I can't remember that day, except the fact that I cried myself to sleep.
Sunday.
Sunday was okay. I cleaned some more. Eddy came over. We chilled. He went to Colleen's house. I put up the Halloween stuff. I don't get quite the same feeling as I used too when I decorate. Oh well. Anyways, he came back. We ate pizza. Then, we went in my room and had a long nap. It was all innocent, noting sexual or shit like that. He just held me, and I slept in his arms. Whenever he would wake up, he would grab me tighter. It was nice. My dream was weird as hell. But basically, it revolved around me being late for work. I woke up at five on the dot, and spent about 15 mintes waking up Eddy. He dropped me off at work, then. I bagged for a while, then cleaned the break room, then did Proviso. While doing that, I started thinking about Eddy, and the ROTC thing. I cannot imagine not seeing him, ,or hearing his voice for four whole years. We have seen eachother, or at least talked to eachother almost every single day for the past three years. He is my best friend, and losing him is difficult. If he dies, I do not know what I am going to do. And, if he lives, he will not ever be the same. You do not some back from war and be the same man you were before. This is going to be difficult. Also, while walking around gathering the food, I became very upset with my appearance. I see all there gorgeous girls, and just feel so hideous. I know I am nothing next to them. It makes me sad. I just wish I could be pretty like that. Whatever. I did not get my break until 10:10, and I had to ask for it (530-11). My break was also off last night, but as usual, whatever.
Yesterday I found out that my great grandma had lung cancer. This is lovely. Why does all this shit always happed to me?
Friday.
This was one of the worst days in a while. There have been some real bad ones in the past few months, and this one was up there with them. It started out all right. After school, I cleaned for a while. Then I went to Edward's house for his birthday. We stayed outside for like, an hour. It was fucking freezing. The guys skated for a while, then Eddy called me and started yelling. After that, I threw a leaf at John. He responded by grabbing my hands, and pushing me backwards. I was running at top speed, and was begging him to stop. I ended up falling on my head, followed by my body, and flipping John over me. It was sufficiently painful. So, shortly after, Eddy showed up. He grabbed me up from the ground and was being an ass as usual. Then he calls me over. He says "I have great news! Well, it's great for me... not you."
ROTC. He's going to college for four years and majoring in whatever he wants, all for free. Then he is going to Iraq for four years. I held it in for a while. I tried telling him I was happy for him, because that is what he has wanted. Finally I could not take is anymore. I said I had to go for a jog to warm up. I went to the park, and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, until I got to the point where I could no longer breathe. This went on for an hour, at least. Eddy came after a while, and sympathized with me. He held me, and took me to the football game with him. He used the excuse "more time you have to spend with me." There were marines on the field at the game. Later, we went back to Edward's house. We ate, and played twister. When I got home, I cried.
Saturday.
The day was boring. I spent it cleaning again. Then I took a nap at around three. It only lasted about a half hour, because I needed to shower. After I got out, Luis called and said that he and John where on their way. I put on some loose clothes and waited. They arrived in suits, which must have looked funny while they walked to my house. After a while, I changed into my dress and did my makeup. Shortly after, Danielle and Amanda got here. Manda did my hair for me. She curled it, and it looked nice. So, apparently Shitty was texting her, and she wanted to go see him. Danielle took everyone and left, because Eddy found out he not only had to bring Yanilla, but he also had to bring Brigitte and her friend. This left room for only myself, not Luis and John. Hence, I was forced to sit alone while I waited for my ride. Luckily, he wasn't long. Since he was in a hurry, my dumbass didn't bring a coat. So, I ended up freezing most of the night. The dance was okay I guess. Not my scene and Eddy seemed to not enjoy himself, thoroughly. Everyone was kinda of bored, and Luis was just bombarded with everyone screaming "LUIS! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE MISSED YOU! WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?" He also had an epiphany while there: he like Gabby. She is the only girl that he has liked and does not want to fuck. This kind of bummed me. I guess I kind of have a crush on him a little bit? I'm not sure. Gabby is not even pretty.. at all. But whatever sinks his ship, I guess. I shouldn't be talking. she is better looking than I am. Moving on, we went to Flat Top afterwards. Long story short, the total bill for ten people was almost $200. We all flipped shit. There was an included $30 dollar tip. But, whatever. We all departed. Danielle, Amanda, and Nico went back to his house. Eddy, Luis, John and I stopped at Jewel so I could get my schedule. I was upset. My hours this week: Monday 5-9 / Tuesday 6-10 / Saturday 10-6 / Sunday 530-11. I have never worked an eight hour shift before, so I'm a little nervous and aprehensive about what to do, seeing as I am going to have a half hour break as well as my 15minute one. We have to punch out for that, so I am a bit confused. I do not know why I am so nervous. Anyways, getting back to Saturday.. We all met up at Nico's house. To my dismay, both Danielle and Amanda were gone. Danielle went to chill with Alex, and Amanda (not surprisingly) went to Shitty's house. We were all pissed at her. She was gone until 1am, which was bullshit of her to do since she came to be with Nico and us, not use him to get to that fucker. She is a dumbass. He broke up with her in a douchebag way, not even nice about it. So, they were making out on Nico's porch, which pissed us all off. When she came in, we all ignored her. Nico was being an asshole to her to the max. So, she went in the bathroom for a long time. When she came out, I went in to use it. She knocked, and I let her in. I was going to be nice to her; I felt bad. Then she says "Is there a bandaid in here?" I was like why? That bitch cut herself. At Nico's. I called her a fucking moron, and walked away. I didn't talked to her for the rest of the night. I ended up sleeping on the air mattress by myself. Amanda slept on the loveseat, Nico on the couch, and Eddy in the chair. I was freezing. when I woke up in the morning, I felt horrible. Amanda was gone. But, I felt bad because I slept in Eddy's hoody, and he slept in a t-shirt all night long. And it was cold as hell. We were all up all nightm watching some asian movie and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The Japanese one was creepy as hell, and the other one was hilarious. I woke up at around five and shut off the volume. The next day, Eddy took me home and ended up staying a while. I can't remember that day, except the fact that I cried myself to sleep.
Sunday.
Sunday was okay. I cleaned some more. Eddy came over. We chilled. He went to Colleen's house. I put up the Halloween stuff. I don't get quite the same feeling as I used too when I decorate. Oh well. Anyways, he came back. We ate pizza. Then, we went in my room and had a long nap. It was all innocent, noting sexual or shit like that. He just held me, and I slept in his arms. Whenever he would wake up, he would grab me tighter. It was nice. My dream was weird as hell. But basically, it revolved around me being late for work. I woke up at five on the dot, and spent about 15 mintes waking up Eddy. He dropped me off at work, then. I bagged for a while, then cleaned the break room, then did Proviso. While doing that, I started thinking about Eddy, and the ROTC thing. I cannot imagine not seeing him, ,or hearing his voice for four whole years. We have seen eachother, or at least talked to eachother almost every single day for the past three years. He is my best friend, and losing him is difficult. If he dies, I do not know what I am going to do. And, if he lives, he will not ever be the same. You do not some back from war and be the same man you were before. This is going to be difficult. Also, while walking around gathering the food, I became very upset with my appearance. I see all there gorgeous girls, and just feel so hideous. I know I am nothing next to them. It makes me sad. I just wish I could be pretty like that. Whatever. I did not get my break until 10:10, and I had to ask for it (530-11). My break was also off last night, but as usual, whatever.
Yesterday I found out that my great grandma had lung cancer. This is lovely. Why does all this shit always happed to me?
posted by Emabearr at
3:48 PM
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