Last Night, It Came As A Picture, With A Good Reason, A Warning Sign.

Decisions, decisions...

Today I was awoken at a while after three by Bernice, because Aunt Mary was here. I had totally forgotten that I was supposed to spend time with her and Anna today. We got some Indian food, and then later something was brought up by her and Bernice. They're thinking of sending me to live with her after I graduate to go to college out there, since it's supposedly better. She lives in Orland Hills. This just reminds me of my fucking childhood, being bounced around. It's an uncomfortable feeling. I'm trying to weigh this, though I wouldn't really have a choice. I'm going to start with the con's:

Con's.
- I would miss my friends.
- I may not be able to bring my cat, whom I adore more than life.
- I would have to quit my job, making paying for college a struggle.
- I would have to either get off my medication or find a new psychiatrist.
- I would [probably] have less freedoms.
- I would have to quit smoking.

Pro's:
- Good education.
- They would help me get my license [thought I could do that now, anyways].
- I would get to start a new life, like I've wanted to.
- I would have to quit smoking.

The Pro's are good, and the Con's just sound plain selfish. But, I get anxious and straight scared when thinking about it. I don't really want to be sent away. If she didn't live an hour away it wouldn't be so bad. I really like her, and Bob is okay too. They're very nice and financially set. I just feel very lost right now. It's going to fuck with me if they go through with it. I'm legally an adult, I should be able to make this choice on my own.

I need guidance ):