It's Not Fair And I Think You're Really Mean.

You know, all my problems lately, and for a long time I guess, have revolved around people. I don't know why they affect me so much. Then again, humans are natually social beings, and generally need people to function properly. Part of me has the mindset, still, "I don't need people, I don't need people.." because c'mon, they're not really helping with anything. I don't want to sound all "emo" and shit because I despise this line, but I really feel like no one gets it; no one gets me; no one understands me. It's difficult for me to put my emotions into words. Little things haven't been able to affect me this easily or badly in a while, but I guess different actions or words from different people tend to cut deeper than others. Seriously, I know I have a bit of a problem. It's like my vision is limited to see only the bad that I want to see, half because of my life experiences and run-ins with people, half because society basically promotes it. I kind of wish I could see in myself what some others see in me. Maybe that would help. I also wish I had a psychiatrist who supported me and tried to help me himself instead of just relying on pills and telling me that I'm socially retarded and fucked for life. I don't know why I have friends, really. I'm an asshole, I'm sarcastic, I complain constantly. I get all depressed and do this, which is fucking annoying, even to myself. Like now I'm past the feeling of needing to know that someone loves me. If anyone cares about me that much, they're foolish, honestly. Well, there was another rant about the same old thing. How interesting of a person I am! 

I'm beginning to hate again.