If I Find My Way Through The Darkest Of Days...

Well now, we've established that 1. Eddy no longer loves me. 2. Eddy no longer has any feelings for me whatsoever. 3. No longer considers me his best friend. 4. Is on his way to leaving my friendship completely behind.
He no longer wants to see me, or have anything to do with me. Yeah, he'll call me. And then he always ends up hanging up on me. So I don't need his bullshit. I know I'm no longer in love with him. He ripped my heart out. I was so bitter. Now I'm just an asshole. I was with him yesterday, and I have no idea what i ever saw in him. I can do better. I've known this for monthes and monthes. I've just been ignoring it because "he loved me," and i was afraid that i wouldn't find anyone else.

I'm supposed to meet Tim today, for the first time ever. I don't know how i managed to fall in love with someone who's miles and miles away. But, I've done so. I don't know if I'll regret having such strong emotions for him, because this shit never works out for me anyways. It always backfires. And I don't need heartbreak. But, what I do need right now is to meet him, hug him, kiss him. I want to see his face. I know I'll find comfort in that.